Just like any new chapter in life, there are phases. If you read my first post for The Suddenly Single Chronicles then you may be aware that I was inspired to write about my dating and relationship experiences. Heartbreak is probably the hardest phase to get over, at least for me it is. What I can’t understand is, how do you get over a relationship that never really was a relationship? Then I realized, it’s not the ending of this non-relationship that has me feeling brokenhearted, it’s the man that I grew an emotional attachment to that has me feeling this way.
It’s amazing how hearing a song play on the radio can bring you to tears. No matter how many times you tell yourself you are going to be okay, you can never seem to get over the feeling of being brokenhearted. You might hit the gym, go to church, bury yourself into your work, or even try and meet someone else but that ache you feel is still there at the end of the day. You know there is a silver lining, but it just seems so far away.
You would think that at 40 years of age, I would know better than to attach myself to a man that is not willing to be in a committed relationship but it felt so real that I got caught up. Not to mention, this is not the first time I have tried to move on from this non-relationship. Ladies, we cannot change a man that is not willing to change for us! No matter how good they make us feel. I’ve also realized that you cannot find happiness until you have found it within yourself. We cannot fix a man that is broken until he has learned to fix himself.
How do you get over a broken heart? Start by focusing on you. Learn to love yourself again. That is what I am trying to do. Yes there will be moments of uncontrollable crying as you reminisce over the great times you’ve had together. This dude was the first man I ever vacationed with. But at the end of the day, I am not the one for him and he is not the one for me. It felt good, but everything that feels good is not always good for you. Also, surround yourself with positive people. If you have family and friends that will give you good advice, turn to them. I don’t live close to any family, and I have maybe three girlfriends that I love and trust enough to confide in, but they have been a great source of hope for me. Sharing my experience has also helped me. I know that I am in control of turning things around. And that is what I plan to do.
If you have ever been brokenhearted, let me know what you did to get over it. It’s important to know you are not alone. Leave a comment below. Come back to read my next post…online dating!
Until next time….Suddenly Single♥